I began my training at age 15, when I joined two of my best friends at Porta’s Goshin Ryu Karate in Pompton Lakes, NJ. Like a lot of other kids, I was struck with the inspiration to pursue martial arts when I saw “Enter the Dragon”. My reaction was “That is COOL! I want to do karate!”.
The year was 1973, and the training at Porta’s was the essence of “Old School”. In the warm months, there was no air conditioning, and the training was always physically intense. I’ve got some colorful memories from this period, like standing in horseback riding stance, with my partner standing on my legs as we practiced punching drills. The instructors were hardy, relentless types and wanted nothing less in our development. Sometimes a nudge along the path to resiliency came in the form of a kick across the room and into a wall.
Any of the disciplines quickly teaches the student that there is more to martial arts than standing triumphant over a defeated opponent. Still, there was no denying an awareness of my increased physical prowess, along with a degree of self-mastery and sheer possibility as I resolved to continue my training. With exposure to the right influences, even an 18-year old kid can get the big picture, the long view on matters of Body, Mind and Spirit.
In 1975, soon after enrolling at Rider University in 1975 in Lawrenceville, NJ, I took up training with Master Cameron Hunt at the on-campus Moo Duk Kwan Tang Soo Do Club. Tang Soo Do is a Korean martial art quite similar to Taekwondo; Master Hunt had been a student of Grand Master J. C. Shim.
After college graduation in 1979, I sought to continue my martial arts education closer to my hometown, Wayne, NJ. I had the good fortune to find Grand Master Byung Min Kim in Monsey, NY. Monsey was a long drive from home, but as soon as we met, I knew Grand Master Kim would be my martial arts instructor for life and that Taekwondo was the discipline through which I would pursue my goals. Feeling that it was time to take my training to a new level, I asked Grand Master Kim to instruct me privately.
I still remember our lessons vividly. They were extremely challenging physically and mentally. One drill I will never forget was designed to toughen the student’s knuckles. We would put a concrete slab on the floor and punch it repeatedly. I can still see blood stains on concrete, but after months of practice, I developed calluses and no longer bled. Another exercise involved hitting a metal bar, hands held rigid, in order to develop them into weapons. I can still hear the bar ringing with each of our blows.
At an earlier time in history, Taekwondo training’s purpose was teaching the student to kill or maim an opponent. There was far less focus on character development and philosophy than there is today. One thing that drew me to Grand Master Kim was his emphasis on philosophy and the progressive principles of Taekwondo. After each class he would devote considerable time to the tenets of Courtesy, Integrity, Perseverance, Indomitable Spirit and Self Control.
Because of my earlier martial arts experience and intensive personal training I was allowed to begin my Taekwondo education as a green belt. By 1980, I tested for and was granted the rank of 1st Dan Black Belt.
The early 1980s saw me moving from New Jersey to Warwick, NY. Conveniently enough, Warwick was a manageable drive to my day job (more on that shortly) and considerably closer to Master Kim in Monsey.
The martial arts have not been my only love, of course. In 1985, I married the love of my life and future 5th Dan Black Belt, Master Teresa Krause Ciarfella. We started a family and Master Teresa and I are the proud parents of Danielle Ciarfella, 4th degree Black Belt and Edmund John Ciarfella, 4th degree Black Belt and bass guitarist extraordinaire. One waggish friend has labeled us The Eight Fisted Family of Fun.
With a family life well under way, my passion for Taekwondo has kept me testing myself, both internally, and by the standards of my chosen discipline. With Master Kim’s ever-rigorous support like a wind at my back, I achieved the rank of 4th Dan and Master Instructor in 1990.
I was teaching privately in Warwick in 1993; by 1995, the rank of 5th Dan lay ahead, but even greater change and new challenges were just upstream.
My family’s long-lived business was and is in musical instrument retail. Perhaps unconsciously, I’d chosen the perfect college major to support me in either of two very different career paths. I left Rider University with a degree in Management and Organizational Behavior. For a number of years after college, I successfully ran one of my family’s stores, but another calling was never far from my thoughts.
After 25 years in retail, I decided to follow my passion and opened Taekwondo Academy of New York in my adopted hometown. When most people are double-checking their retirement strategies, I was changing professions. This decision was not easy but I truly love Taekwondo and wanted to share it with others.
I get an authentic thrill from seeing people reach their full potential in life, and martial arts training has helped untold millions in the modern world do just that. Again, it’s that combination of striving for the best possible health in Body, Mind and Spirit.
My natural drive to help others has extended from my family, friends and students to the community I live in. Over the years, I’ve expanded the original Taekwondo Academy of New York into the United Martial Arts Centers with some beloved partners, the mention of whom will close out this story.
United Martial Arts Centers and its franchises have always been community oriented in the extreme, and have raised over $600,000.00 for MDA and hundreds of thousands of dollars for other local charities such as Child Help, DARE, and LLS. This type of work is an ongoing commitment which UMAC as an organization works toward yearly.
Now looking back at my life in the martial arts could be complete without fond acknowledgment of my brothers and partners. Master Paul Melella, 6th Degree Black Belt, Master Chris Berlow, 6th Degree Black Belt and Master Joe Badini, 5th degree Black Belt are fellow leaders of United Martial Arts Centers schools, and together, we try to bring positive energy and healthy life habits to our corners of the world.
I will always be deeply grateful and appreciative of my Master, Grand Master Byung Min Kim. He has been my instructor, mentor, life coach and Taekwondo father. He has taught me the importance of loyalty, commitment, dedication, appreciation and gratitude.
I’ve chosen a particular date in the coming weeks of this summer to mark my forty years in the Martial Arts Life.
On that morning, I will awaken and settle in to meditate as I have done twice every day since 1976. As I relax and prepare for that special space within the day, I will indeed be celebrating a life in which I have been privileged to help and support hundreds of students, friends and family members in finding their own paths toward a life balanced in Body, Mind and Spirit.
United Martial Arts Centers Lounge
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